Wherever you will go
by Eboni Black
Summary: Heero and Duo are a couple, and something comes up, what will happen? RR i want feedback! (main) hints of 1x2, hint of 3x4(the x is more like a plus but the story hints towards lovers) and sucide attempts, COMPLETE! Read And REVIEW!is the rating ok?
1. The fallen

Heya peeps! I was just trying to get this off of my mind cause I came up with this Idea and it wouldn't leave me alone!!! This is a song-fic, the song is Wherever You Will Go by The Calling on their CD Camino Palmero. I hope you all enjoy. Plz. Review and tell me what you think. Oh, and this is a yaoi! 1+2 or 1x2. I really haven't decided yet.  
  
Though this is fairly depressing. Not funny, depressing. Get it? Got it? Good.  
  
//= song  
  
""=talking  
  
Regular paragraphing= Story  
  
//So lately, been wonderin', who will be there to take my place?  
  
When I'm gone, you'll need love, to light the shadows on your face  
  
If a greater wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, could you make and send a stone, could you make it on your own?//  
  
Duo's head suddenly snapped up from the magazine he was reading when the door to his shared room was nearly knocked off its hinges. Though the disgruntled male behind the intrusion was welcome, the sudden noise wasn't. As much as Duo wanted to make a sarcastic joke, the look on his koi's face told him otherwise. Needless to say, Heero was pissed. He was planning on spending some time with Duo, his neglected koi. To put it simply, that plan was shattered into oblivion by one of his unwanted missions. (that's a first) Though Duo accepted Heero's departures with good grace, that didn't mean that Heero was happy. Being torn away from Duo was the last thing he wanted to do.  
  
"What's up Hee-chan?" Duo asked hesitantly, not wanting to send his koi on an angry rampage. When Heero caught sight of Duo, his anger softened a bit.  
  
"Damn mission."  
  
"Oh... Well then I guess we should plan another time to hang out."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"I'll go make you a sandwhich while you pack."  
  
//If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go  
  
Way up high, or down low, I'll go wherever you will//  
  
From then on it was nothing but hustle and bustle for the two boys. Heero was busy packing while Duo was fighting off tears, trying to make Heero a sandwhich.  
  
//And maybe, I'll find out, a way to make it back someday   
  
To want you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days  
  
If a greater wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, then I hope there's someone out there who  
  
Can bring me back to you//  
  
(Duo's POV) It's been several months since my Hee-chan left. The others never leave me alone, they all see how jumpy I am. They think they don't show it, but I can tell that they all think that if I am left alone long enough I will commit suicide. Hah! I am not that stupid. I have to be here for when my Hee-chan gets back.  
  
//If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go  
  
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go//  
  
The phone rings, I pray for the billionth time that it is my Hee-chan.  
  
//One way with my heart, one way with my hope, one way with my love//  
  
It isn't Heero, but it is Dr. J.   
  
//And maybe, this quiet house, my life and love might still go on,  
  
in your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time//  
  
I hear one sentence and I slide down the side of a counter.  
  
//If I could turn back time(I'll go wherever you will go)  
  
If I could make you mine(I'll go wherever you will go)//  
  
The others rush in and Quatre asks me what's wrong.  
  
Simple, "Heero's dead" 


	2. Return of my love

Heya! I am here again, finally! yay! I'm sorry this took so long, my life has been SO hectic lately! I'm SO sorry! Well, time to get my butt back in gear, so enjoy!

Wherever You Will Go: Part 2

(this one is NOT a songfic, sorry guys)

Duo's POV

__

Damnit! NO! This can't happen! Why!? No, it isn't true! Heero's the fuckin' perfect soldier! This isn't true, they're lying, it's not true! IT'S NOT TRUE!!

Okay, most people would say that I am overreacting, right? Afterall, soldiers can't love, right? Wrong. I loved him, he said he would never leave me. When Heero says something, that's how it's gonna be.. nothin' is gonna stop him. 

Tears start to pour down my face. It feels as if my whole world is shattering around me. But if the scientists weren't sure, they just would have said that Heero was delayed a little, right? Yes, that's all they would say, meaning that Heero IS dead. No! That can't be it! It's not true! Heero said he would never leave me, he said that we would survive this war and live happily ever after. Well, not exactly in those words, but the principle is there. 

I look in the mirror. No wonder Heero left me, some L2 brat that has nothing to offer him. I can see it, Quatre keeps telling me that it's not true, but I know it is. I see it, and I'm the one I'm talking about. 

I laugh bitterly to myself. The God of Death strikes again! Maybe I should just stop it all. Shinagimi can't cause any pain if he's dead, right? Yes, maybe the whole world would be better off if I didn't exist at all. Can't kill anyone you love if you're not there. 

That's it then. I have to die. Now the question is, how? Gun? No, too quick. Knife? No, too much blood. But suicide is NOT what I want right now. I need someone else to do it for me, they should seek their revenge on me, for taking the lives of their loved ones, for getting too close, for causing them pain. One of the guys wouldn't do it, they'd sooner throw me into a mental institution. That's it then...

Next time we go into battle, it will be the fall of the God of Death. OZ will attack, and I will die. That's the solution. But it has to be when the guys aren't there, they would make sure that that didn't happen, they'd protect me. I can't have that, they would be putting their lives at risk for a lost cause. I can't have that, they are at fault for nothing. It wasn't their choice to get close to me, or for me to hold them dearly. They're not at fault, and I will NOT have them fall because of me. As of now, Shinagimi is out of comission. 

*a week later*

Here it is, my perfect opportunity. A solo mission to an OZ base, all I have to do is blow up one building and OZ will be all over me. All I have to do then is not let my soldier's instincts kick in. All I have to do is stay where I am, and let them torment me as long as they like, without capturing me of course. If that starts to happen, self-detonation will be the only option. I wonder if Heero was thinking this exact same thing... the only way to escape Shinagimi is death. 

I tell Quatre that I have a mission and as usual, he asks me about it. I tell him everything but what I am planning to do. Not a lie, not the complete truth. Things haven't been the same since the news about Heero. Everyone's been taking extra time to make sure that I am okay. They are thinking now that I am fine and that I have fooled myself into thinking that Heero has just taken a long vacation. Little do they know, I will soon be joining him on that vacation.

I leave the house with less than is essential. I don't load up on extra knives or guns, I just have everything that is important to me, everything that will have to die with me. I wear my cross, as I usually do, I have the gun that Heero gave me after a mission gone terribly wrong, I wear the knife that Trowa gave me after I expressed interest in his act at the circus, I wear the hair pins Quatre gave me after he saw how much my hair hindered me when it came out of the braid, and lastly, I have the head band in my pocket that Wufei gave me, I still don't know why he gave it to me, but he did. 

I jump into Deathscythe, and with the usual pep talk to him, we take off. 

Arriving at the base I am sweating and swearing at anything that gets in my way, I'm just a little edgy today. After all, it isn't everyday that one plans on how he will die. 

I pick out the building that I wish to blow up, it's just a building for storage, I refuse to kill more than I have to. And just after the flames erupt from it, I am surrounded and fired at. I don't do anything, and I can feel the apprehension in the air from the other soldiers, they are wondering why this is so easy and if I am planning anything, and if so, what? They stop firing, and just to give them more encouragement, I start to move, and yet again I am showered with missiles and bullets. I'm bleeding from my forehead from when I was knocked forward, from my arm when one of my pipes was knocked loose and hit me. I think my leg is broken as well as my wrist, it didn't bother to wear the seat straps. 

I welcome the oncoming fire with wide open arms. Death is coming, I can feel it. I laugh out loud as I see the irony in this, Death has come to claim itself. Just as I was about to close my eyes and welcome myself to the depths of Hell, the firing stops. I peel my eyes all the way open and look around. I don't see anything, but the soldiers are backing away. That's when I see it, the bullets coming from the left of me, but hitting everything there. I turn and there it is, I shake my head and convince myself that it's not there, it isn't real. I turn back straight forward, and there it is. On my com-link screen, the one face that I have wanted to see.

"Heero...."

A/N That's it! Sorry it was so short, but the rest if for the next chapter. SEE YA!!!


	3. Is that really you?

Heya! I'm back and ready for more action! WHEEEE! Okey day! Here's we go!  
  
"Heero...." I whispered the name as if it would disappear if I said it too loudly.  
  
"Duo! What the FUCK do you think you are doing? What the hell is this, and why aren't you fighting them off?!" Heero yelled at me as if this was just everyday and I was being stupid.  
  
"No, Heero, I won't fight them off..." I whispered to what I thought was my imagination.  
  
"But... why?!" Heero looked at me pleadingly, "Fine, if you won't, then I will. I will NOT let you DIE!!"  
  
I shook my head sadly, knowing that this was just my mind playing tricks on me, the body merely trying to get the attention of one's self and make instinct kick in. But I won't let it this time. I'm ready to die, to stop the suffering of everyone, and to be with my Hee-chan. I smile slowly as I think of everything that might happen to the others. They would be devastated, I know, but they would live, they're strong people.  
  
Trowa would probably end up with Quatre, and they would both finally be happy. Wufei will probably go back to his home on Earth, he fell in love with this place in China and bought the house off of impulse. They would stick together, I know that, they really know each other, they know that they are the only of their kind.   
  
I think of them with envy. They had a better life than I did, I realize that now. I may have been the one to make the jokes and give even Trowa a light smile, but I still always felt out of the loop. Wufei grew up knowing his parents and elders, and having the love and care for him, no matter how harsh they were. Trowa, he doesn't remember all that much about his past, but at least he has Catherine and now Quatre. Quatre... he is the most fortunate out of all of us, and I love him for that, he's so innocent and I never want that to change. And now that I look at it, Heero's life was better than mine, he had hell to go through, I know... but he still had somewhere, something for him, even if it was that asshole of a scientist.   
  
I frown, me on the other hand, no. I was as unfortunate as any other low-down fuck. Harsh to say, I know. But my life on L2 was hell in itself. I had to run on the streets, steal for food, sleep under a gutter cover. That is, until Maxwell Church, I was finally happy there, but the God of Death rests for no one, they too were soon gone in that blasted event, Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, all of them. From then on it was have sex with anybody who wanted it, or be raped. Simple as that, get paid, or get used. But now, I have nothing. Nothing to live for, even life itself doesn't seem worth it. Heero's gone, and everything else, well, let's just say that it ain't too pretty.   
  
I look back at the com-link and sigh. I trace the outlines of Heero's face and look at the image lovingly. Then I jerk back suddenly, 'What the hell?' I think to myself. 'What the hell are these soldiers thinking?' I look around suspiciously.  
  
Everything had stopped, silence filled the air like a blanket for the dead. Then out of the corner of my eye I see something moving. It's Heero getting out of his gundam, and rushing over to mine. I begin to wonder, 'Why is my mind still playing tricks on me when the battle is 'over''? I don't get it, it's completely over my head. Until I see Heero standing outside my cockpit entrance.   
  
He forces the door open and walks in with such deadly grace that I had to take a back away in fear.   
  
That's when it hits me. This is Heero, he's alive!   
  
He's talking now, "What the HELL do you think you were doing? You could have been killed! Damnit! Are you even listening to me?!" I give him a confused look.  
  
I slowly comprehend everything he has just said and whisper slowly, "You didn't know?"  
  
"I know that you were being the greatest baka ever and trying to get yourself killed. The only thing I don't know is why?! Damnit, answer me!"  
  
"You were dead, Heero.... They said that you were dead." His eyes softened a bit. "I thought you were dead, Heero. Damnit! Why am I-" I broke down in tears.  
  
"Why are you what, Duo?"  
  
"CRYING!! I'm not supposed to cry, you're back and I'm CRYING!! Damnit!" I mentally slapped myself for being such a baka.   
  
"It's okay to cry, Duo. It's okay to cry, no one will hold that against you." Heero says it slowly, as if trying to drill the words into my brain.  
  
That makes me sob even harder. Now I realize why I took his 'Death' so hard, I love him and he was always so calm and understanding, even in the worst situations.  
  
"Ai shiteru, Duo. Please stop crying, it's okay. Ai shiteru..." Heero crushes me against his form, and for the first time in a while, I was able to feel safe.  
  
"Ai shiteru, Heero. For now and forever, wherever you will go."  
  
owari  
  
aw... -tear- see now i'm crying, and i WROTE the stupid thing! YAY! Heero's not dead! -jumps for joy- please read and review?! push the little purple button at the bottom! yay! I'm done! I finished a fic! yay! -proud- see ya'll next time! 


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